Fri-Date #1

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006: How Kim and I Work Together Without Killing Each Other | Fri-Date With The Wifey

Kim and I have been working and playing together for 14 years (very long years, she says), and we’ve come up with a few strategies that have helped us not kill each other in the process. At the end of every week, we’ll be sitting down for a short Fri-Date, where we’ll share our tips and tricks with all of you.

Today’s topic: What lights you up, lights me up.

Kim and I attended one of Tony Robbins’ Date with Destiny events, and he taught us a few things that we’ve been practicing ever since.

To start, you have to understand that there are three levels of relationships:

  1. It’s all about me and my needs.
  2. You take care of your needs, I’ll take care of my needs, and then maybe we’ll meet up.
  3. What lights you up, lights me up.

In the third, highest level of relationships, your partner’s needs are your needs – and it’s a totally different way of looking at things.

This practice is rooted in The Law of Reciprocity: the idea that when you do something for someone else, they will be more inclined to do something for you.

On the flip side of this, it’s also important to address anything that might be dimming your light. Even if it’s just a bad attitude after a long day of work, talking about these issues early and directly will prevent any more significant problems from bubbling up.

And when you’re busy working hard and playing hard, especially if you have children, you will have to be more intentional about actively scheduling time for those conversations (maybe every Friday on your podcast?).

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Hi, I’m Rob!

Hi, I’m Rob! It has been said “You are not what you have learned, but what you’ve overcome.”


I have overcome my share of obstacles in order to architect the life of my dreams and uncover the key to lasting, meaningful success. Growing up in Queens (literally on the wrong side of the tracks), my early years were tumultuous, marked by hardship and violence.

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